How are you? I'm languishing
Hello,
Like a lot of us, I too read Adam Grant’s NYT piece There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing and thought ‘it me’. The below in particular was thought-provoking and comforting to read.
Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021 . . . It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.
Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.
Over the weekend I read two books which will stay with me. The first is Feminism, Interrupted by Lola Olufemi. It’s a powerful call to arms and a book that needs to be read by everyone who identifies as a feminist. I feel like my mind has been clawed open and my beliefs tussled with. Just the act of reading Olufemi’s seminal text has made me feel like a better feminist. The book is currently out of stock but worth keeping an eye out for.
The second book is the most underrated one I’ve read in recent years — Night Theatre by Vikram Paralkar. It’s magical realism rooted in our deepest realities. It deals with life, death, mortality, afterlife, religion and so much more. I don’t know what else to say about the plot but can confirm that I read it in a few hours, staying up late into the night to get to the end. It’s gripping throughout and very satisfying in ways I didn’t know I needed it to be.
My current read is also hitting all the spots for me. Look out for The Giant Dark by Sarvat Hasin, out in the UK in July. Another July book not to be missed is The Roles We Play by Sabba Khan, a memoir told in graphic novel format, covering some intense subjects such as immigration, mother-daughter boundaries and patriarchal violence with tremendous grace and beauty. Both books are available to preorder and I urge you to support authors by preordering as much as possible.
While on the subject, do treat yourself to Milk Blood Heat by Dantiel Moniz which is out next month in the UK. Other books I mentioned in my last email which I can now highly recommend include Are You Enjoying? by Mira Sethi (out in late May) and We Play Ourselves by Jen Silverman (out in early June). Mira Sethi’s book is a collection of short stories that capture the human condition in a fresh new voice and Jen Silverman’s debut novel is an astute look at the perceived feminine fragility, especially when it comes to teenage girls and what happens when adults try to manipulate it for personal gains.
On the writing front things continue to be painful. I oscillate between ‘I can’t do this’ and ‘there is nothing else I can do’. It makes the whole process that much more exhausting but I’m trying not to beat myself up too much about it. I can mostly stay on track when I focus my energies on believing in my project and not letting self-doubt run amok. Setting achievable goals and not pushing myself to aim higher every time I achieve each goal is helping for now.
Anyway, back to recommendations!
The Great Indian Kitchen on Amazon Prime - A Malayalam film on toxic patriarchy.
I appeared on my favorite podcast a few weeks ago. You can listen to my episode on surviving online abuse here.
Superstore on Netflix is my comfort watch at the moment.
‘I’m 51, I can say what I want’: Leone Ross has overcome her fears.
I recently discovered Studio Ghibli and I can’t get enough. A lot of their movies are now available on Netflix . This Japanese anime studio is mentioned in Sara Jafari’s The Mismatch, a debut novel which I really enjoyed.
Why humans find it so hard to let go of false beliefs: The misinformation virus.
From colonialism to Covid: Viet Thanh Nguyen on the rise of anti-Asian violence
That’s all for this month. A belated Ramadan Mubarak to all those who are observing. I hope the month has brought respite and blessings into your life. And if you are looking for causes to donate to, I would like to suggest my colleague’s fundraiser for Aspire Charity (an organization which helps people who have been paralyzed by a spinal cord injury to live fully independent lives). Jessica will be swimming the English Channel (!!) in a six-person relay to raise money and you can donate here.
Take care,
Zeba